Well I’ve been productive today. Dinner is in the crockpot, I stopped by Jimmy John’s and bought day-old bread to go with dinner (btw if you didn’t know Jimmy John’s sells day-old bread for like 50 cents and it’s DELICIOUS), I started on my valentines, I lit some candles, my homework is done for the week, the dogs don’t need to be walked yet, I ate some of that delicious black magic cake I mentioned a few posts back (and it turned out deliciously thanks for asking), once I tend my farm on Farmville 2 I will officially be done with most things. I will be able to sit back and relax and read the last 40 pages of Sense and Sensibility. Yeah!
In the meantime I’d like to talk to you about something important. Bras. Bras are one of those few things that are important to both guys and girls–albeit for different reasons. Girls need bras for support and decency and to keep their nipples from announcing to the world whether it’s cold or they’re excited or they just feel super nipply today. Guys need bras as something they can stare at and something to keep them from molesting girls 24/7 and sometimes guys need bras for support as well but we won’t talk about that.
blackheartlingerie.com is having a sale on bras right now ($20 each) and I just spent about $60 on bras so that’s why we’re having this conversation. And while we’re at it I thought I’d share some of the most awesome bras I’ve ever seen
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away…
The Most Awesome Bras I’ve Ever Seen
The Bacon Bra! I thought this one looked so much cooler than the ones made of raw bacon. While practicality wise this bra rates around a 3 out of 10 (I mean at least it covers your boobs) it scores about an 8 on the coolness scale. I mean…everyone loves bacon….right?
This one begs the question, is it a man or woman fondling these boobs? I feel like it’s a threesome going on here, there’s one hand with a ring and fingernails, and one with a masculine-looking watch. This isn’t quite as cool as the ones of say skeleton hands holding the boobs however it does look much more comfortable
Disco Bra!!! I would totally wear this!!! It’s shiny!
Gas Mask Bra. Practicality scale = 10. And awesome in case of a terrorist attack or potential gas explosion in the clean room.
“Headlights” tehehehehe. I like this for the comic value
I ❤ all things shiny and bright! And this pattern would look pretty cool shining beneath a tshirt or a dress I feel like. Similarly to how I have set my phone to scroll messages across it and then put it in my dress or what-have-you at the Halloween parties at the library for the past couple of years. There is a bra which scrolls messages but it was only across the top
Portal Bra! My inner nerd rejoices at this (even though I didn’t really play the game). My inner nerd also really wants a Pokeball bra and I DID play Pokemon!
I think this Button Bra is super cute and probably took somebody a long time to make, or at least a whole bunch of buttons
While the practicality of this Solar Panel bra isn’t but so high, it’s pretty cool. I found this one over the summer while working in one of my professor’s labs making organic solar cells. This bra is more of a tank top since you can’t wear anything over it and it does come down long enough to cover at least most of your stomach. It does actually catch sunlight and store it!
This is one of the few normal-ish bras one here sadly. I would love to have this Starry Night bra to wear with my Starry Nyight (yes nyight, it has nyan cat on it) shirt. It’s super duper cute
And this is just funny lol.
And finally, the wine rack. I personally can’t wear this because my boobs are too big but it’s a nifty idea. I wouldn’t necessarily want to put wine in it though since I feel like it’s probably difficult to wash.
Weird and Silly Bra Ideas I think are kinda Terrible
Goldfish. In your bra. Why? What have goldfish done to deserve to be treated like this?
A lobster bra! In addition to the fact that I feel like there would be so many references to the wearer having crabs, this just looks silly and the backs of the straps look rather uncomfortable. And you can say ‘beauty is pain’ all you want but having an uncomfortable bra strap is not included and that and is terrible
So this bra comes off and turns into a golf course. Because yeah, that makes sense. Let me just take of my bra here and let you play golf. Because every self respecting guy can focus on golf after a girl has just removed her bra. Yes.
Again, yeah let me just take my bra off so I can carry my groceries. I don’t think the Asian inventors understand the concept of a bra needing to STAY ON most of the time. I don’t often just remove my bra for recreational activities. I have taken it off for someone else (a guy) to put on a couple of times but it was for the sake of drag and therefore acceptable. The gas mask bra has to be taken off but that’s a life or death thing
And pockets for mail. A bra IS pockets, why would you need pockets on the outside?
In other news, I have read online where somebody came up with the idea for a bra which would harvest energy from the friction of boob movement. It’s not an actual invention yet but I thought it sounded like a cool idea.