Freezer Gnomes and Koala Catchers

Hi all,

I’m in the market for a Freezer Gnome.  He needn’t be highly trained, if you’re a gnome fresh out of gnome school this job will be excellent for gaining experience.  

Job description:

Carefully monitor the amount of coffee present in the freezer

When coffee levels are below the standard amount we will agree upon, send a memo to the persons in charge

For brownie points, make more coffee and store it in the freezer

For even more brownie points, make brownies to be given as brownie points

Perks include: 

Free Coffee

Free Brownies (if you earn brownie points)

Room and Board (I expect you to live in the freezer so as to monitor the level of coffee at all times of day)


I also am searching for a certified koala catcher to catch the invisible koalas some mischievous rascal has set loose in my apartment.  I believe there are 4 or 5 of these koalas running rampant on the premises.  This normally would not bother me as they are in no way violent or dangerous, however they have taken to stealing our fridge magnets and distributing them all over the living room and that is downright disrespectful.  Only apply for this job if you have prior experience with the removal of invisible koalas. 


  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

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